History:

The members of Yukos the Crude were formed of the blackest of crude oil in the fields of Soviet Russia in the early 1980s following an incident involving a mega oil giant, an earthquake, and a can of cheese whiz. After a short, 20-year period of awkwardness and chinese food, the Mighty Crude that is Yukos has emerged as a leader in the field of HYDROCARBONIC IRON FIST CORE, the finest music genre known to the common Siberian oil derrick worker.

The Oil Giants:

Joshua the Melodious Mental Giant

Frontgiant. Specializes in the melodious ivory of the tundra.

Philip the Subterranean Sludge Giant

Victorian gentlegiant. Shoots the sonic blaster and the sludge shovel.

And, despite what you may be thinking, he has a third arm and is, in fact, jerking off with said third arm.

Tob the Dextrous Demented Giant

The Abraham Lincoln-Christ of giants. Fingers fingers fingers.

Chuck the Bombastic Beat Giant

Yes. THE Chuck of GROUND CHUCK. The meatiest and juiciest of all giant drummers in the land.

And, despite what you may be thinking, he is NOT jerking off in this picture.

Warning:

Yukos the Crude is currently providing its services to the town of Columbia, SC and surrounding regions. Some day, the oil giants will come after you, and when you least expect it, you will be serenaded with the sounds of derricks and death (and perhaps horror and bunnies). If you want to know if and when the oil giants are coming, check this page.